It’s been about one week since I launched this site. Writing articles has been a good change to my normal patterns.
However, this morning on another successful early rise from bed, I was thinking about what possessed me to write online. As my high school English teacher would say, I’m not naturally good with words.
Each article I have posted so far takes me at least 3-4 hours to compose. Being a Software Engineer, sometimes I can even get so enraptured in my work that I go through an entire work day without speaking with anyone let alone write.
So this morning, as I struggled for words, I remember telling myself this is too hard. This paragraph is just not right. How many times would I have to rewrite this?! Now, several hours later, I find myself thinking about a saying I heard a long time ago -
Our limitations are self imposed.
In my line of work as a Software Engineer, I model the real world all the time. Computers must be instructed to behave in a certain way. What features a piece of software has and how flexible the system is can be attributed to how the designers have modelled reality. For example – How shall we represent a Person on the system? What attributes exist on an Order? Should the postal address be recorded against the Person or the Order? Can a Person have multiple emails?
Everytime we model an object, we define its purpose, characteristics and behaviour. In doing so, we also implicitly define what it isn’t. The thing is, this holds true for all our preconceptions too – including who we are and what we’re capable of.
And more importantly, who we’re not and what we’re not capable of.
If I asked you to visualise the following, what do you see? Sky diver. Lawyer. Swedish girl. Now ask yourself why you visualised them that way. Is that Swedish girl blonde? Does the Lawyer have to be in a suit? Can the Sky diver also be that Swedish lawyer?
We see what we see because of what we have experienced in the past and what society has conditioned us to see. We all have our labels. Husband. Son. Friend. Each label comes with a certain visual image and a set of preconceptions. However, we are not defined by our labels. Do not let your labels draw boundaries around who you are, what you can do and how you behave.
Most of the limitations we have are self imposed based on how we choose to see ourselves or how others see us. Just for a second, imagine yourself without these labels and limitations. What would you be doing? Now, ask yourself what’s really stopping you. I can’t say for sure but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how amazing you are if you give yourself a chance.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, learn how to draw, be a better cook or Bungi jump. Whatever it is, barring any physical disability, the limitation you think you have is most likely self imposed. They only exist in your head.
As for me, just because I am a Software Engineer does not preclude me from being a good writer who is also passionate about personal development and chooses to write about it. Not being able to write was a limitation I had imposed on myself, partly because of what my English teacher had said. This is no longer a limitation I choose to acknowledge. So even though this post has taken me 2 hours to compose, I know I can only get better and improve with time.
If you like this post in any way or have gained an insight you wish to share, please leave a comment. Any words of encouragement you can provide is also greatly appreciated.
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June 19th, 2006 at 12:44 am
Ha – you not naturally good with words? Pull the other one! I’ve always thought your writing has been excellent. My bad writing on the other hand… – I’m fairly sure that’s not self-imposed… ah but then maybe that’s self-fulfilling!
June 19th, 2006 at 7:06 am
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I think with most things, writing is something you need to practice at. Some people are more naturally gifted but that doesn’t mean that with time one cannot attain the same level of skill and excellence.
And, your writing is good! All you need to do is spend some time to finish your drafts!
June 22nd, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Linked to your writing through del.icio.us Dave.
Your writing works for a range of reasons:
1. it looks easy to read – short paragraphs & numbering key points. Readers love white space.
2. it links heart and head. You’re writing about what you care about and you are thinking about what it all means. That’s the best kind of writing.
3. you’re prepared to be open and take the risk of saying that you don’t know – that connects with people.
This article was thoughtful and easy to read. I read about 6 of your articles in this sitting and enjoyed them all.
Funny thing about self imposed limitations – when you start really looking at them you can change them.
Imagining and having fun playing with the ‘what if’ is a great way to start. The other thing I do is be very conscious of the language I use. One of our biggest language blocks is the sentence – Yes but…
The easy/hard solution is to transform it into … Yes and … You then are looking for connections rather than disconnections.
So – we can be creative and entrepreneurial and an IT geek (cool people)… and love shopping … and care about social justice … and make money … and invest in people’s dreams …. it’s all in the imaginings and having the will/skill to make it happen.
I run an ethical management consultancy in the non profit sector (not an oxymoron) – and – in a few months I hope to start a Master of Science in E Learning. I’m doing the reverse of your journey Dave. Like yourself there’s a whole pile of things I don’t know – and – I’m real clear about why I’m doing it (to understand how to create online learning communities that computer phobes will feel more comfortable using). The learning and unknown opportunities and challenges are part of the buzz.
Good luck with all your adventures Dave.
Best regards
Liz
June 29th, 2006 at 2:27 am
hi
its a nice attitude to have.i myself had self-imposed limitations till i read this article.Thanx buddy.
July 12th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
[...] However, as with anything worth accomplishing, I understand my transition to a full-time Entrepreneur will naturally take time and perseverance. Which is why I’d like to say thank you to my family and friends. They’ve been helping by providing encouragement especially during periods when I was feeling down and demotivated. In case you’re wondering, this happens every now and then, in particular when I’m trying to overcome my self imposed limitations. This writing gig is hard work! [...]
July 28th, 2006 at 11:07 am
[...] There is never a better time to make a change. Ok, sure you might be better prepared next year or more financially secured. However, most of the time, the only thing holding us back, is our own fears. Nobody wants to fail. That’s true, but I’d rather not live my life knowing I didn’t try because I feared to fail. After all, our limitations are self imposed. [...]
August 15th, 2006 at 5:28 am
What I have read so far has really been encouraging me.
I like both your thoughts and style of writing -
I hope you keep sharing it with us.
My best wishes on achieving your personal goals.
Best regards, Sebastian
August 19th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Dave, you’ve already been a huge help to me at a crucial time in my life (ending grad program, having kid, buying house). I know I need to change my habits to make the most of the time I have. You’ve inspired me. And as a professional writer, let me tell you, you’re doing fine. (A great book for all types of writers is Anne Lamott’s _Bird by Bird_, btw.)
Cheers.
August 19th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Hi S Murphy,
Thank you for your kind words. Your encouragement means so much more given you are a professional writer. I’m glad I have been able to help. Good luck to you and your family.
Feel free to drop me a comment any time.
dave
September 15th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Excellent writing.
It is very inspiring; I too agree that all is in the mind.
September 20th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Hi,
Your style of writing is excellent. What you’ve written is 100% true. We all view world by filters created by past events.
Carry on your good work.
September 20th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
Hi Srikanth,
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I’ll try to keep working at it as time permits.
dave
November 15th, 2006 at 2:52 am
I love this site!
It is true that “there is nothing heavier than the burden potential”.
I am currently 33 and in the process of reconnecting with a dream of having an acting career.
I will also have to undergo some serious change in order to accomplish this, so thanks for your insight.
Good luck to you!
Hope
November 16th, 2006 at 8:28 am
Hi Hope,
Thank you! I wish you all the best with your acting career. If you don’t try and dare to dream, you won’t achieve.
So here’s hoping you succeed!
dave
December 24th, 2006 at 5:25 pm
just found your website …
found it very interesting reading.. and useful ideas.
your format make’s it easy to read.
I some times look for ideas for an inhouse newsletter. how would you feel, if some of your articles were reproduced their.. as motivational probe for staff members to read…
keep up the good work.
February 10th, 2007 at 5:21 am
Dave, your writing is exellence! I enjoy reading your blogs, your articles are defintely reinforcing possitive thoughts into people’s life. I do have self imposed, this article gave me a great preconception about myself. Thank you!
February 12th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Hi Nguyen,
Thanks for dropping me a comment and your positive feedback. I’m happy to read that it has made a positive difference to your life.
Keep up the good work!
dave
February 12th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hi ladykat,
Thanks for leaving a comment and sorry for the delayed response. I must have approved the comment and subsequently forgot about it. My apologies.
Where are you proposing to post these articles? Generally, I prefer they not be reproduced verbatim and would always opt for commentary, so that your readers can get additional values over and above what I’ve written. I also would like to read about what other bloggers think, so I too can improve and refine my thinking.
Hope this makes sense.
dave
February 18th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Hey [Dave],
2 hours or 2 days, the post got your message across simply and elegantly. Also, please remember that people teach because they can not \”do\” and if your english teacher thinks that speed is the only thing worth grading when it comes to writing, she/he should go teach math.
Thanks again.
February 18th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Hi Dustin,
Thanks for dropping by and the words of encouragement. I’m glad you liked the post and hope you too can apply it to your personal life.
dave
March 5th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Hi Dave,
I have found your column extremely useful and edifying. The self-improvement tips are very good and I am trying my best to practice them. However I have what you coul call a “wandering mind” and my thoughts sometimes drift out to another plane instead of focusing on the task at hand and much effort and energy is required to regroup…this is especially true when I am faced doing tasks that are boring and does not stimulate my intellect. Could you please e-mail me on how best I can address this situation.
Kind regards
RJM
June 21st, 2007 at 11:02 pm
I am reading your write-up for the first time. I’m really impressed. It comes to me at the right time when I am positioned to inspire others to develop themselves against all odds. For me it is a masterpiece.
Nothing indeed should stop anyone from peaking in life. God has magnanimously deposited the potentials for each of us to become the greatest. It’s all in the mind and an article like yours or a similar presentation makes the difference – to jump start others.
Keep at it.
July 28th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Dear Davee,
The post was very good and it was very encouraging for me, keep on doing the good work what you are doing and god bless you with all the good things in life.
Bye and take care
Suresh from Srilanka.
February 1st, 2008 at 1:36 am
Hi Dave,
I accidentally ran in to your blog and boy am I pleased! You are doing one hell of a job with all your posts and this one particularly touched me.
I am one of those self-limiting souls with loads of low self-esteem and OCD’s. However, I also believe in going down fighting rather than give up. You are absolutely right; our limitations are self imposed. Apparently it takes a lot of energy and commitment to root out these beliefs from within.
Keep up the good work and I plan on visiting your site more often!
Thanks,
Jay
February 8th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
100% agree. I like your approach – very realistic and positive.
June 19th, 2008 at 7:23 am
David,
I must say, I was surprised when you said you didn’t think you’re a good writer…judging by your posts, these are excellent literary works! So many people write so many things online these days with complete inattention to details, grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I’ve seen no problems with any of these in your articles.
Thank you!!
Demiera
June 21st, 2008 at 4:15 am
Hi Dave,
That’s right – limitations are always self imposed. In fact most of us are taught to fix our targets and lock ourself with that target. So if you are a software engineer, you should not think of writing such inspirational thought provoking write-ups ! If I am a lawyer, I should damn care about HTML or Javascript, because that is not my job.
Hey, just hold back. Who decided what should be my job? Life is meant for learning, improving and self-designing. We live for happiness. Happiness comes from doing positive things that our heart tells us to do.
Many a great leaders that this world has given did not do what they were labeled to do. Just take Mahatma Gandhi – father of nation of India was a lawyer. However instead of pursuing law, he pursued spiritualism. He was an enlightened soul who gave a new direction to a country of 350 million people.
It is indeed important to liberate from preconceived notions such as Oh ! I am 42, I should not be doing this, let me not allow any change instead let me be comfortable with what I am doing. Life is best when it accepts change. It well said – only thing constant in life is change.
Suchit Dave,
Advocate, Supreme Court,
India.
August 31st, 2008 at 11:12 am
Hi, I randomly stumbled upon your blog and I think its great. I just googled “how to embrace change” because i ahd a really bad day, and it was eye opening. But, after reading a couple of ur posts it really puts some perspective in what i need to do, and how i can bring about positive change in my life. Greatfully your post helped start the process.
I look forward to reading more!
October 17th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
hi I felt so discouraged today and googled something to boost me up and end up here.. Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I truly agree that our limitations are self imposed. We tend to forget how unique/special we are in every way. Be blessed! Continue inspiring people!
November 9th, 2008 at 3:13 am
I am one of the newly released wallstreeters. I completely agree with Suchit Dave and Liz above. B/c my status has only changed a couple of days ago the feeling is still surreal but this article has helped me to think out of the box, recognize my self imposed limitations and to think creatively. Its such a freeing feeling because you realize that you can create new opportunity. Its feels fabulous to be a lawyer, passionate about nature and social justice and finding ways for my work to drive those goals. Thank you…….
Peace and kind regards
Kim
November 9th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Hi Kim – Wishing you all the best in the present crisis. It’s tough, but you’re right to take the positive and more constructive outlook to life. I heard a great advice recently which I thought I’d share.
In times like this, the best thing you can do is invest in yourself. So if you’re a 8/10 lawyer, do all you can to be a 9/10. When the crisis is over, you’ll find the demand for great people will come back and you’ll be in a much better position if you had invested in yourself.
Good luck. Best wishes.
dave
November 29th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Great insight. It streghens my resolve to remain a positive thinker
December 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
hi, reading your words of wisdom – it comes at a time when i am at a definite crossroads in how i perceive life and my current situation.
struggling with a huge mental block, i doubted all my previous achievements and my abilities. i wondered whether i was hallucinating when i did all of what i did before.
i find i can’t think anymore, and even writing a simple letter fills me with dread and disgust.
and yet … i know that somewhere inherent in these struggles is something positive for my growth and strength. dreams are real, no? at least even if i am deemed as running away, i want to be able to say, i m running To something better, not running Away from.
thank you for sharing and encouraging.
January 18th, 2009 at 7:32 am
Excellent Topic & Writing Series
Thank you so much!
Wishing you continued Wind Beneath Your Wings!
January 28th, 2009 at 2:46 am
I believe our own destiny and ability is decided by ourself, no one can decide for us for one to become in the future, we control our destiny.
February 4th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Hi Dave,
I was looking for some articles about self motivation, but yours is definitily the best. I think is great that you like to keep an open mind about what you do with your life, is really brave to overcome other people’s opinions and judgements about what you can’t do, it proves that you’re willing to become the best person you allow yourself to be, and that’s admirable.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences, I really needed some motivation and I got it from reading your article. Thanks so much!
Have a great life.
May 10th, 2009 at 4:55 am
In the first place, if you leave it to fate for what you are encountering now, you have been lost the battle.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:47 am
This is so true. For me breaking out of my old thinking is like breaking through cement. But I keep trying. Thank you for this article.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Sometimes hearing about how another person feels about a personal concern, helps me to clarify my feelings. Thank you so much for sharing.
August 20th, 2009 at 6:53 am
This site has given me a great deal of perspective at the precise right time…because I went looking for it and you were here pursuing yourself and allowing us to peek in.
Thank you, and please! keep writing. It means something to someone (and that someone can also be you…). And that’s what matters.
September 1st, 2009 at 5:13 am
Quess what? I am an English teacher and you have completely inspired me; not only with your writing but your knowledge of self-improvement (a passion I share as well). THANK YOU AND KEEP WRITING/INSPIRING OTHERS-YOU ARE GIFTED!:)
September 10th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Hi Dave
Like your articles. Simple, sensible and inspiring thoughts.
Hope you’ll continue writing
Cheers!
LorraineJerz
November 6th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Dave:
I searched for “overcoming self limitations” to share with our network administrator who is having issues with moving forward with our Sharepoint deployment, and the second “hit” was your blog.
Although you do not know me, I wanted to leave you this comment because I feel as though I know you based on your writing. Perhaps others would feel the same if they read your writing. You appear to be very positive, focused, organized and compassionate as well as ambitious and self-confident. I read with interest your “mission” and your “bootstrapping.” Where are you in your mission? Have you released a program yet? I hope you have traction and are moving forward as I am cheering and rooting for you. The picture of you baby daughter reminded me of my daughters.
Best regards,
Eugene
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
[...] At this point, you’re probably thinking … You’re crazy! Maybe you’re right. But I made a conscious decision at the beginning of this journey that my dreams and goals are worth attaining and that in order to do so, I (may) have to work as smart and as hard as I could. I also realised I may not be the smartest, fastest, most good looking or most articulate person out there, but these shouldn’t ever stop me from trying. I refuse to acknowledge that my limitations are anything but self imposed. [...]
January 19th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Read some of your other posts too and found them really inspiring and motivating. I aspire to become an engineer(mechanical) too and start an engineering enterprise.
Best of luck and thank you for your valuable advice.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:12 am
Dude, I’m with you…do write more and more and never stop at anything
I’m a software engineer too and am also keenly curious about personal development all the time and stumbled upon your blog while searching on a related topic on Google.
Keep up the good work and all the best !!!