Improve your life one step at a time
July 6th, 2006 by Dave Cheong
Personal development is hard work. If you have ever invested your time and energy towards improving yourself, you’d know that the road to being happier and more successful is not easy. Over the years, I have read many books and tried numerous techniques with varying results. The one constant thing I have observed when I have been successful in personal development is incremental change - the act of taking baby steps and building upon each victory one at a time.
I think deep down each of us has a desire to be better than we are. Maybe you wish you could be a more efficient worker, better husband, healthier etc. Some of you may even have read a few personal development books in the hope of learning secrets to be successful. For the others, this desire is just that - a wish that was never acted upon.
Perhaps you were too afraid to try. What if you failed? Perhaps you did try, but the techniques did not work or the results were disappointing. However, whatever your goal is and irrespective of whether you tried or not, the following universal truths apply:
1. Things worth attaining takes time
In this age with the Internet so easily accessible, we demand instant gratification. If we have a question, chances are we can Google it or search on Wikipedia for answers. If we need to purchase a book, Amazon is simply a click away.
However, I believe that all things worth attaining takes time.
Personal development is not something that can be rushed. After all, you are trying to change what’s core about you. Breaking bad habits and instigating good patterns is not an easy thing to do. Developing new fundamental character traits will take some time, lots of patience and hard work to succeed.
2. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
The Chinese has a proverb. It goes “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. This is especially true for personal development. You may have read many books and even tried several techniques for a period of time, but if you were not ready for them, they won’t work for you.
For example, if you are not a disciplined person, then trying to wake up early and consistently isn’t going to be easy. The tips I’ve written about may help to an extent but if you cannot consistently adhere to the guidelines, chances are you won’t succeed.
I have personally rediscovered techniques, which did not work in the past, but do now. I believe they did not work before because I was not ready for them. Do not be discouraged. It is how the universe works. So as you become a more disciplined person or your perseverance improves, techniques which did not work before can suddenly produce spectacular results.
3. Build upon each success
Personal development is a journey. Each of us has a different journey. Our goals are different. Our backgrounds are different. The environment and circumstances surrounding our lives are different.
The thing about personal development is we build upon each success. Every victory lays the foundation for the next challenge. Along the same lines as the previous example, if your goal is to be an early riser, then discipline is a prerequisite. Set good goals that would develop this first, such as writing a journal to track the things you want to do, removing distractions or generally applying any of the other tips about how to stay focused.
4. Continual process of learning
You may have heard of Tony Robbins, David Allen and other personal development gurus. Sure they may seem to have their lives in order. One would also assume they apply productivity techniques and positive thinking on a constant basis.
However, they have spent years upon years of self reflection and perpetual learning to achieve their goals. Even so, they are continually learning, perfecting their techniques and improving their mental states all the time.
Do not expect to go from zero to hero in an instant. Take each challenge as a lesson, then build upon each lesson to constantly refine who you are, what you do and how you do it.
5. Don’t be discouraged with setbacks
When things go well, you feel happy. However, the flip side of this is when things don’t go well, you feel sad. The reality is you cannot win all the time. There will be occasions in which you just cannot accomplish a goal. Perhaps, you are too tired because of your work commitments. Perhaps, you are distracted by other things like planning a wedding. Perhaps, you are feeling down and cannot summon the motivation.
Whatever the reasons may be, do not be discouraged with setbacks. The most important thing to keep in mind is telling yourself you will try harder next time. So you’ve missed a morning by not rising early. Big deal, just try harder the next morning. Setbacks are ok, but continual setbacks are not. Do what you can to ensure you do not get trapped in a negative pattern or repeated setbacks.
6. Not all things work for everyone
I’ve always believed that each of us is inherently different. Some techniques may not work for you for various reasons. There are the reasons I’ve previously highlighted, such as not being ready for them or not having the prerequisites to ensure success.
Then there are other reasons, such as trying to apply techniques that just go against your nature or are not congruent with your goals. For example, if you are constrained by health issues, then perhaps stress is not something you wish to deal with. This may require you to live in a relatively stress free environment and being busy and constantly productive may not be the best thing for you health-wise.
The greatest thing about personal development is there isn’t a right way and a wrong way. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they’re lying to you. That’s a fact. Perhaps they want to sell more books? Perhaps they have found something that works for them? However, what works for them, may not necessarily work for you. Also, there are many ways to reach the same goals.
7. Celebrate your victories
Your mind is a complex but powerful tool. Motivation, which describes a genuine desire to accomplish something, can be fleeting and temporary. Use as many tools as you can to maintain it. When you lose your motivation, you lose your reason to try and overcome adversity. Remember that things worth attaining takes time, lots of patience and hard work.
Celebrate your victories whenever you can. I have found this to be one of the strongest techniques you can apply to maintain motivation. You are working hard for a reason. It is just human nature that we do difficult things only for a reason. So take moments even during the day to observe and enjoy the results of your hard work and use this as a platform to newer and more ambitious goals.
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July 6th, 2006 at 10:55 am
If I had the money to buy the time necessary for personal development I would. I work 15 hours/day.
You didn’t cite how poor people can be motivated.
July 6th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Hi Frank,
Thanks for leaving a comment.
On being time starved - I think many of us have competing things vying for our time. Sometimes instead of spending too much time “producing”, we need to step back and think about “productivity”. Perhaps we can organise our day better? Perhaps we can look to ways to improve the way we do things? Even if you come up with a technique with reduces something you do by 10 mins. If this is something you do every day, you could save 50-70 mins each week. That’s 1 hour of extra time!
On being money starved - personal development shouldn’t cost money. There are lots of resources out there for free. Books can be borrowed from the library. Articles can be found from Google. All my articles are completely free. You don’t need fancy organisers or software - paper and pen works just as well if not better.
July 6th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Great article. Certainly more free time can be produced if and only if you make that your goal. I have written an article on Triple Your Free Time: 4 Simple Steps. It can be found at
http://radicalhop.com/blog/2006/06/29/triple-your-free-time-4-simple-steps/
July 7th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
life is a long learning process. don’t be afraid to learn; make time to learn. knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily. nevertheless, life is not a race but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.
July 16th, 2006 at 11:37 pm
The Personal Development Carnival - July 16, 2006
Welcome to the latest edition of the Personal Development Carnival!
—
Peter Kua presents What Do Others Think of You? posted at RadicalHop.com by Peter Kua.
Victor Fam at Towards Better Life presents Jogging Once a Week
Brian Carson presents 6 …
July 20th, 2006 at 7:33 am
“I think deep down each of us has a desire to be better than we are.”
No, deep down we don’t have desire to be better than we are. Deep down we have a desire to be better than the guy next to us.
:)
– Hui Zhou
July 20th, 2006 at 8:08 am
Heh. Sadly, that’s so true.
Comparing ourselves to our neighbours is ultimately destructive. If our happiness is derived from how well we stack up against our peers, ultimately we’re doomed. Eventually, there’ll be someone better, smarter, taller, prettier, richer, more successful etc…
July 20th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Thanks for taking my comment seriously.
I don’t think our competitive nature is necessary doomed and destructive. Yes, if we have to be the BEST at EVERYTHING, we are doomed. But in reality, we would feel pretty happy that we are better than just our neighbor at one subject (say poker).
In fact, I think the competitve nature is the source of our motivation, which brings happiness to the path of life, unless we go in the pitfall of stuck in a narrow competition.
July 20th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Hui Zhou -
Thanks for your comments. Your words ring true on many levels and are very insightful. I agree that competition is a good thing as it provides us a yard stick for measuring progress and competency.
One should not lose sight of the bigger picture by focusing too much on what people around us are doing though. Sometimes looking around too much blinds us from the things that can truly make us great. Not just good in an incremental sense, but great.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:54 am
That’s a nice article.
Isn’t competing with oneself the highest and most noble source of motivation? To achieve excellence _beyond_ competition is the ultimate goal to strive for.
One more thing… if the issue at hand is _really_ important to us, then the time will be made almost miraculously. Once you’re up to something _really_ exciting, you’ll get up by yourself at 6 a.m. without even thinking about sleeping in.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
I think Alexander is right. Today I woke up easier than other days because I wanted to have breakfast instead of running to work, clean my room, wash clothes, etc. I know it doesn’t sounds AMAZING, but i was looking forward to do all that stuff.
Frank says that he works in a 15 hours basis. Me too, and even more. This past month (as I said in another blog) I worked 20 hours everyday, even weekends. But there are little things you can do.
Just to share: with little things I always leave them for later (there is a word, but I don’t remember it: postergar is in spanish). Like doing dishes, or hanging my clothes, or cleaning my bedroom before leaving, etc. So, for this 2 weeks I want to get use to doing 2 things: cleaning dishes right after I use them, and cleaning my bedroom before leaving to work. See? is not hard. Just do two things for 2 weeks. I think that’s improving…
November 17th, 2006 at 3:05 am
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February 18th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I visit to your website . you make good website and interesting report ^^
March 4th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
a great article. i’ve put a link to your we page on my blog. keep up with the good work.
March 8th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
[…] Dave Cheong presents Improve your life one step at a time posted at Dave Cheong | Engineer to Entrepreneur. […]
August 27th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Do not bother about me .i am just a teenager and just wanted to say thanks a lot for your advice man.Hope u dont mind
August 31st, 2007 at 3:01 pm
hi,
I like your articles. Any advice for me? I am returning to career counselling and life skills coaching for immigrants and people displaced from the workforce by tragedies, drugs and violence, after a stint in retail.
My problem is that I usually work so hard at counselling I am totally exhausted at the end of the day. I struggle to focus and thats what makes me all hyped up.
How can I make my work more fun?
December 30th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
I really enjoy reading your article, you really hit the nail on the head.positive thinking leads to positive result and thats what i plan on doing.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
That’s a nice article.
“In fact, I think the competitve nature is the source of our motivation, which brings happiness to the path of life, unless we go in the pitfall of stuck in a narrow competition.”
March 11th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Hey im 16 years old and i have been having difficulties with school and life in general. I always try to do my best but for some reason i never seem to accomplish my goals. Its very hard for me to get through a day and not feel rejected or not satisfied with my life and it really tears me apart to know i try and try and not not be happy with myself it may be because i have no one to open up to and my father never gave me that comfort to go to him and tell him whats wrong. I read this article and hopefully it helps me but if anyone please try to help me, i really need someone to show me the right way to get through life. Please comment back
Thanks