Create Self-Imposed Deadlines. With Punishment for Failure.

The longer version:

Many of you have commented about the lack of frequency in my recent postings. This is something I acknowledge to struggling with a bit! Trust me, it isn’t because of a lack of motivation or anything like that, because writing on this blog is something I would really like to keep going.

What’s wrong with Time Boxing?

I know I’ve been writing about Time Boxing, but it seems the strategies there alone aren’t sufficient to help me Get Things Done.

I don’t think there is any inherent flaw with the Time Boxing strategy. After all, if you want to finish something, you first need to allocate time to it, then work on it for a fixed period and finally judge if it is finished or not. The boxing aspect allows us to focus on the “time” or “duration” component of the task, without which we may aimlessly prod along without being conscious of how long something is taking.

The problem with Time Boxing however, especially for personal tasks, is there is no tangible effect from a delay. There is no accountability and no punishment for going over-time. Writing on this blog is a hobby, so if I don’t publish an article for another week or month, what’s the penalty?

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

In contrast, this is totally opposite when dealing with work related matters. We do it all the time. Homework is due next Monday, so let’s get to it now. The client demands a modification to a site or we don’t get paid, so let’s get cracking. Our boss is waiting for the status report, so we’d better launch the word processor and start typing.

The two biggest problems with doing personal tasks

I realised the other day, I don’t have well defined goals for blogging. This stems from the realisation that the two biggest problems with finishing personal tasks (like writing on a blog) are:

• The absence of a hard deadline
• The absence of punishment when failing to deliver

Seems obvious! Why hadn’t I thought of it before? Without a concrete deadline, how can I judge if I’m behind or not? Also, how can I plan my time to ensure I meet it? Also, if there are no real consequences for not making a deadline, what’s going to stop me from playing on my Xbox? And, what’s to prevent me from procrastinating time and time again?

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Treating work and non-work tasks the same way

The lesson here is that we need to treat our hobbies and personal projects exactly the same way we deal with work and other important things in our life. If we don’t, then it’ll always play second fiddle and we won’t get the great results we hope or expect.

This means we have to elevate personal hobbies, tasks and projects to the same level as our work. Yes, they may not be life-sustaining activities (ie doesn’t pay the bills), but if we want the same kind of results we get from our work, then we have to treat them the same.

Make yourself accountable in your startup

This applies to all you aspiring Entrepreneurs out there.

Are you having trouble launching your latest startup? Is it taking longer than you thought? Are you spending enough time on it? Is time being spent on a piece of code which won’t matter for another year? Are you working on the right things?

If any of this sounds familiar, then you’d do well to head my words.

Make yourself accountable for everything in your business. Every action and delay must be defined and quatified. How long will it take? What’s the benefit? What’s the cost? Who will be affected?

If you don’t have anyone you are accountable to (eg no investors and customers), then you have to make something up. For example, perhaps donate $100 to a worthwhile charity for every week you are late. Now, that’s going to hurt. Are you feeling more motivated now?

With great pleasure, I can now say Mobiusly is back on track. I deviated a little over the last couple of months, but it’s all good now especially since I committed to a deadline and understood the consequences of being late. I’m hoping to launch the first product in 1-2 weeks time, depending on how well beta testing goes. I’ll post more details here or via Mobiusly’s official blog, so make sure you subscribe to it too if you’re interested in seeing what’s being cooked up.

In the meantime, examine your own lives. Are you getting things done?

UPDATE: A healthy discussion is emerging at Hacker News about the disadvantages of focusing on the negative as motivators. More about it here.

Apart from being Australia Day, today also has a special meaning for me. It marks the day I finally became an Australian. It has taken me over 6 years, since my arrival late in 2001, to accomplish this. Much like the early settlers, this has not been an easy journey. However, much like my predecessors, the rewards have been rich, gratifying and priceless!

If I could look at myself back in time in early 2001 when I decided to make Australia my future, I would see a naive but determined young man – eager to make his way in the world and to succeed in one of the greatest cities in the modern Western World (Sydney). That young man would dream of a great life, one filled with happiness and success against all odds. What that young man did not know then was how his dreams would pale in comparison with the reality over half a decade later.

Although I’m still a relatively young man by anyone’s standards and still have a lot to learn and experience, I count myself very blessed! I have a wonderful wife and daughter, which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I have great parents, a wonderful brother and his family. I have a great career in software engineering and creation, which happens to also be my hobby and passion.

On a daily basis, I learn and grow. I am constantly challenged everywhere I go and at home. I have the opportunity to eat ice cream whenever I want to. Whilst I am not rich, I have enough money to satisfy my “wants” in life. How can anyone ask for more?

It is fitting then that today, on Australia Day, I become an Australian. It is a fitting ending to this chapter in my life. Being an Australian and living a wonderful and happy life here has been a life-long goal of mine. I came to Australia only with my luggage in hand and a pocketful of money. Whilst the journey hasn’t been easy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have worked hard for it and earned my right. Finally, I have my reward! Oh how sweet it is…

If there is one thing I learned through this process, I’ve learned the importance of self-belief. If I didn’t think I could do it, I wouldn’t have tried. If I had let self-doubt and negative thoughts to dominate me, I wouldn’t be sitting here.

There is no goal unattainable if you believe in your own abilities to accomplish them.

Good luck for all your dreams in 2008.

Including this blog, but most notably fun and leisure!

A couple of months ago, I started at a new client side. Because the client is new, environment is different, technology and type of work unfamiliar, I’ve had to work extra hard to get things done with my usual tenacity and productivity. Although the road has been bumpy and steep, I’ve kept my head up and have persevered through the tough times.

That’s all good, but I miss the fun times!

So how do we make work fun? Well, you can do it like my friend, who at this very moment is running rampant about Sydney doing a massive treasure hunt! From what I read on this blog, the folks at Atlassian are having a great time on their ‘Cutlassian Pirate’ day – having dressed up as pirates, kicked out of the Google offices and generally causing mayham! All I have to say to him is go Team Yarrr!

Those guys at Atlassian sure know how to have fun.

Why aren’t other companies like this? In all seriousness, most of us spend at least 40 hours at the “office”. Given that this is a significant portion of our week, why can’t it be more fun? There shouldn’t be any reason whatsoever.

So, what can we do to make work a place in which we look forward to going? For the budding entrepreneurs out there, here are some initial thoughts.

• Employees need to know they are working on worthwhile things
• Employees need to know they are appreciated
• Employees need to receive compliments on their work
• Employees need to know their input and opinion is valued
• Employees need to know their work makes a difference
• Employees need to have work which is interesting and challenging
• Employees need to feel they are learning and growing
• Employees need to feel they are making progress in their career
• Employees need to be fairly remunerated for their work
• Employees need timeout – treasure hunt anyone?

In many ways, our employers dictate how happy we are at work. A fun workplace could instigate treasure hunts, morning teas, dinners to celebrate project milestones etc. While this may be true in some instances, it’s not a very nice way of living and thinking.

I subscribe to the belief that we make our own fun and happiness. Two people working at the same place, doing the same thing could have totally different viewpoints on how much they enjoy their work. In the end, we have the freedom to choose how we perceive things. Instead of looking at the negatives, try to look for the positives. Instead of looking for problems, try to look for opportunities. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, try to look for constructive solutions.

Ask yourself, Are you a happy employee? If not, what can you do about it?

I’m interested to hear about what your workplaces are like, especially if you have had problems and have found ways to overcome them. Leave a comment.

Oh, and good luck Team Yarrr.

Let me first start by saying that waking up early has made a huge difference in my life. I used to be the complete opposite – late sleeper and late riser. These days, I wake up at 5:30am everyday.

What I like most about being an early riser is getting that extra quiet time in the mornings to work at a few next actions even before the day officially begins. Lately though, I’ve opted to go to work earlier, so that I can clock in my 8 hours, leave at a reasonable time and still have a few precious moments with my baby daughter before she heads off to bed. Being able to maximise my free time doing things I rather be doing has made all the difference to my quality of life.

Here is a list of things that worked for me:

1. Have a good reason to get up.

I’ve found this to be the single most important element in being an early riser. Days in which I did not crystallise the reasons for getting up were more likely to result in sleep ins. Now, I make it clear the night before what it is I want to wake up early for. Initially, I found writing things down to be helpful, but this isn’t always necessary, as long as it is clear what the reasons are.

2. Be productive in the mornings.

It wasn’t enough to just be an early riser. If I had committed to waking up early for a reason, I’ve found it was crucial that I followed through. Not following through is like slow working poison. Over time, this has a cumulative effect and makes it harder and harder to rise early. This was a huge drain on motivation for me, especially when I was losing sleep and yet not getting the things I wanted to done. So stick to the plan and be productive.

3. Get enough sleep.

Your body is trying to tell you something if you constantly feel overly tired during the day. I’ve found it wasn’t really worthwhile trying to get up early if I didn’t get enough good sleep the night before. In the short term, I might get more discretionary time because I was sleeping less, which is good for coping with the spikes in workload. However, in the long term, things generally evened out – either because I was tired and couldn’t work as fast or I was sick as a result of a weakened immune system. My advice is to ensure you get enough sleep.

4. Go to bed earlier

One simple thing which helped me get enough sleep was to … well … go to bed earlier. Instead of constantly staying up past midnight and feeling tired the next morning, I now start preparing for bed around 11pm. I’ve found, around this time of night, I’m generally winding down anyway and not engaged in productive work. So shifting the hours around slightly has meant that overall my free time gets used more effectively – which is the primary reason for being an early riser! The amount of sleep needed is different from person to person and day to day. So, I listen to my body when it tells me that it is tired and it is time for bed.

5. Sleep more effectively.

The other thing I noticed about sleep is sleeping longer doesn’t necessarily translate to sleeping better. Somedays I can have 8 hours of sleep, yet feel like I haven’t slept at all. Other days I can be fully alert, productive and cheerful after only a few short hours.

If you find that you are still tired after a good stretch of 6-8 hours, chances are you’re not sleeping well. Most people just don’t need much more sleep than that. Sleeping well can be attained in various ways. I find having a good mattress and pillow with some quiet reading time before bed to be helpful.

6. No more another 10 mins.

I think everyone including me has two conflicting aspects to their personality. There’s the one which is good and generally seeks to self improve and be productive. Then there’s the other one – the little voice in the head urging us to sleep in for another 10 mins. I’ve learned the hard way that this little voice rarely has anything good to say. My advice is don’t ever have a discussion with him or indulge in anything he says! Sleeping in for another 10 mins is guaranteed to lead to another 10 mins and then another. The next time you hear that little voice, just say “No” out loud and …

7. Jump out of bed.

One trick I’ve found to be very effective in being an early riser and to stop myself from rationalising is to simply jump out of bed instantly. Once I am outside the comforts of the warm and cozy bed, I’m more likely to actually wake up and stay up. Someone once suggested to me by leaving the bedroom immediately, you also leave no doubt about your intentions to actually wake up and start doing things. Jumping out of bed and leaving the room actually works. They have prevented me from sleeping in on many a cold winter morning.

8. Use an alarm clock, just not the snooze.

Every day without fail, I wake up before the alarm goes off. I’m tempted to say setting it might not even be necessary! However, I take comfort in the knowledge that it’s there and waiting to go off, so I don’t have to worry about sleeping in. The trick with the alarm clock is to make it loud, annoying and not easily accessible. Try placing it away from arms reach, so that you can’t turn it off or get to the snooze button unless you get up out of bed. For me, this works wonders, because when it goes off, my wife and daughter are both still asleep and I instinctively try to get to it as quickly as possible.

9. Establish a stable routine.

What I recently learned from being a new dad is babies thrive on routine. My daughter now knows that bath time is followed by reading time and then bed time. Initially, she put up a fight resisting the bed. Now, she expects it!

In many ways, things are no different for us adults. I view the body as an instrument which can be trained. I’ve found establishing a consistent routine to be a key factor in becoming an early riser. This means waking up at same time everyday, not just the days I have to. This includes weekends, which typically aren’t as busy as the weekdays. Now, my body doesn’t even remember what it was like to sleep in and being a late riser.

10. Have something to look forward to.

Waking up early can be hard work, especially when you are used to sleeping in. Having a purpose is a good start, but this isn’t always enough. I mean, come one, are you really going to get up early to work on some TPS report for work? What I do in addition to having a purpose is to have a reward or other attractive incentive to get up for. It can be anything. I personally look forward to having time to check my emails in the morning, eat breakfast and drink a cup of tea.

11. Be aware of the consequences.

As I’ve written about previously, when faced with doing something we don’t want to do, we’re generally motivated not just by Pleasure, but also Pain. I’ve found that it was very effective to be aware of the consequences of sleeping in. For me, losing that extra 2 hours in the morning can have a significant flow on effect to my day and the rest of the week. Everytime I sleep in, I have to stay at work later and sacrifice quality time with my daughter in the evenings. This is something I clearly want to avoid, so being aware of this has been really effective in keeping me motivated when the alarm goes off.

12. Remove the option completely.

One trick I’ve found to work well also is removing the option of sleeping in completely. If we don’t have the option to sleep in, we won’t. The best way of doing this is schedule meetings and deadlines early in the mornings. This leaves one with no option at all but to get up because by the time the morning comes round, it is too late to cancel or reschedule a commitment. I’ve found this to be very effective because my actions now impact not just me but others as well.

13. Have a similarly motivated buddy.

Over the year, I have mentioned to various friends my desire to be a consistent early riser. Being encouraged by my example and results, they too have adopted the drive to be early risers. Not only is it gratifying to be helping others improve their productivity and quality of life, but having friends similarly committed helps keep me motivated and on track. Whenever we meet up, we always ask each other how we are doing with respect to being early risers. If anyone has fallen off the wagon, as a group we try to get them motivated again. Your spouse may be a good buddy even if only to kick you out of bed.

14. Keep track of your times.

Have you ever told yourself that you can sleep in just this once because you’ve already been good the whole week? I have. Unfortunately, my perception on how good I’ve been is subjective and often inaccurate. Sometimes I consider sleeping in because I feel that I’ve been good when in fact I’ve already slept in twice this week or six times this month. I’ve found keeping track of the days I have been good and not good to be immensely useful. I review this list periodically and whenever I find I’m falling behind, I use this list to renew my motivation and commitment.

15. Review all the things you got done.

I’ve written about the 10 R’s to success before. If you haven’t read that post, take a moment to do so. One of the more important R’s is Review which describes the importance of looking back on how successful you have been with your goals and what you’ve managed to accomplish. If things aren’t working out or the results weren’t as expected, then adjust your approach. Looking back at all the things you’ve managed to get done in the early mornings is a great motivator to keep you going.

Conclusions

Being an early riser is tough work, but I’ve managed to do it consistently. To be honest, I didn’t realise how hard it would be when I first started. I might not even have tried if I knew better in the beginning. However, I’m glad I did because the rewards are amazing. I get much more done now and my quality of life has improved.

If you want to be early risers yourselves, try out the tips I’ve highlighted. Some of them may not work for you, but I can bet that if you applied at least a few of these, you will see immediate results. Feel free to experiment and refine the process until you find a healthy balance you can sustain.

Good luck! Let me know how you go.

It will change your life. I promise.

I have been an independent software contractor for several years, performing all sorts of IT development services for clients about town. The agency whom I have been representing at client sites is currently undergoing a major change – they have just been sold to a big consultancy.

Boom! Scary!

As a result of the merger, lots of change is happening. Some folks are questioning where things are headed, what management have planned, how their lives will change etc. Most certainly, there will be job losses as the two companies consolidate things, in particular administrative positions.

With the chaos that’s been unfolding, I’ve thought a bit about “change” in general. What is it? Why do people resist it? Is it always a good thing? What should I do?

With some reflection, I realised that with all inspiration, creation, thought and progress, some form of change must be a precursor. Things just don’t happen on their own. You know the old scientific principle of “energy cannot be created, only transformed”? Well, I think it applies here with change too. These things need to come from somewhere – they’re not born out of the ether. Synapses fired, decisions made and actions taken before change occurs.

In my case, someone must have decided that selling the company is something worth pursuing and that things shouldn’t keep ticking along they way they have been.

So from this respect, change is a good thing, without which there is no action or result.

In my readings, I came across the Satir Change Process model, named after Virginia Satir, an American author and psychotherapist. Her model is best represented in the diagram below which describe Performance fluctuations as a result of change.

The diagram depicts several stages of accepting change. The first stage is known as Status Quo (Gray Zone), a state where everyone is generally comfortable with the way things are. The second stage is a point in time a Foreign Element, trigger or change agent is introduced. What follows is a period of Resistance and Chaos (Red Zone), personified as a result of people being scared of the uncertainties the change has brought about and how their lives will be impacted.

The level of performance generally drops off and fluctuates more greatly between the Gray and Red Zones. There are various reasons for this – people may reject the change to protect the status quo; are confused with the change and are unsure of what to do; or simply become less competent with the new tools and processes introduced.

This describes why people by nature resist change. They don’t want to become less useful than they already are.

I see this every day. In my line of work as a software engineer, I work with tools and technology which change often. You may start on a project using a best-of-breed library, but by the time the project ends, chances are there’s a new version out or even a completely alternate way of doing things. Unless you keep abreast with changes, your skills can lose their edge, even become obsolete.

As a would-be entrepreneur, I too see this everywhere. Many new startups are created each day, but few survive. In order to survive, the entrepreneurs have to develop a business model that meets the market demands and deliver an economic return. To do so, they have to change and adapt as they learn and as opportunities arise.

Most people know this, yet change is often resisted. Why? The reason is simple really. Once someone has become comfortable with the way things work (Status Quo), they naturally find it hard to embrace something different (Foreign Element). Doing so, would mean they instantly become less competent, effective and efficient.

In today’s world and globalised marketplace, being less is scary. It’s drilled into us as children. We must be better than our peers. Faster. Higher. Stronger. Only by being more than the guy in the next cubicle can we get ahead in life.

This is why change is always scary. Yet, it is the Secret to Success.

Embrace change. Override your first instinctive reaction to run the other way. Adopt an open mind. Look at the change not as a threat to your current situation, but as an opportunity to learn and grow.

If the change is justified, well thought out and has the best of intentions, eventually your performance will improve. In the Satir Change Process model, this is classfied in two subsequent stages. The first being Integration and Practice (Yellow Zone), which occur once the chaos subsides. The second being the New Status Quo (Green Zone) in which the change is fully embraced, new processes become second nature and the benefits realised.

Writing a personal development blog has put me in touch with a lot of folks who ask for help in the form of emails and comments. I also strike up more interesting conversations with people I meet, either raised as a result of someone reading my articles or simply because I have this frame of mind.

Regardless, whenever someone asks me for advice on how to improve their present situation, invariably I always say to them the following:

If you want to be happy or your life to improve in one way or another, don’t expect things to radically change, unless you do something about it. If you keep doing things in the same way you have been doing, expect the same result. If you continue to cruise along the same highway, expect it to lead you exactly where it has always done.

To change your life for the better, you have to introduce a Foreign Element, trigger or change agent. Shake things up. Do things differently. Adopt an improved mindset. Be a different person.

Your life depends on it.

Here’s what it would look like on a diagram:

The reality however is people are seldom logical. As humans we’re governed partly by our intelligent mind and partly by our feelings and desires. Maybe we’re avoiding a task because we have a low sense of worth or a self-defeating mentality. Maybe we’re avoiding a task because it’s small, petty and annoying (not worth doing). Maybe we’re avoiding a task because it’s too big and we don’t know where to begin (too hard).

Here’s what this would look like on a diagram:

Whatever the actual reasons are, generally when the Pain associated with doing a particular task increases, so too does the level of Procrastination. That’s just human nature – we run away from things which cause us pain.

Let’s consider a couple of typical examples.

• Doing the school report: I’d have to do some research at the library and online. I’m going to have to read lots and take notes. After all that, I’d have to compile the data and write the actual report.
• Going for a 5km run: I’d have to wake up earlier than I normally would. It’d be freezing cold in the morning. I’d have to go to bed earlier. Then there’s the actual run itself – painful and exhausting.

I’m sure you can think of better things to do than that school report or 5km run. It wouldn’t be hard. Let’s see, how about sitting in front of the TV and watching the latest episode of Heroes or Desperate Housewives? Or, calling Jane, your best friend whom you haven’t spoken to for a month? Maybe, you could be making a nice ham and cheese sandwich instead since you had a small lunch?

The good news is Procrastination is a function of both Pain and Payoff. In reality, the relationship is more like so:

As before, Procrastination increases along with Pain.

However, this tapers off as things become more urgent and important. For instance, looming deadlines can kick start us into action this instant! That report is due tomorrow, so we’d better get cracking now. There’s only two more months to the wedding, we’d better start getting up early for a run.

The Payoff also seems more real and tangible. Doing that report 3 weeks in advance has no perceivable increase in Payoff compared to doing it 2 weeks in advance. However, if the report was due tomorrow, the Payoff of doing versus not-doing the report is now very significant. It could be the difference between a pass or fail. Again, similarly with the run. Wedding photos don’t lie so if we didn’t want to look fat, we better start losing the weight now or there won’t be enough time.

So given this information, what can we do to combat Procrastination?

Stop for a moment and think of a particular task you’ve been avoiding. Why have you been putting it off? Is it because of the amount of effort involved? Is it because you don’t have enough time? Is it because you don’t know how to begin? Whatever the reasons, consider the following tips:

• Experience Quantification: Use the Experience Quantification technique to increase the attractiveness of a task by either downgrading the associated Pain or boosting the associated Payoff.
• Set aside some time: Use time boxes, schedule them in your calendar and when the time comes stick to the plan.
• Develop some positive patterns and habits: Get into the habit of doing things and working around good patterns. You’re more likely to keep at things when they become second nature.
• Look at alternate ways of doing things: Don’t just assume every problem is a nail if you have a hammer. Try to look for alternative approaches which may simplify things.
• Pace yourself: Don’t go our strong only to burn out before you get to the finish line. Pace yourself. Break the problem down into smaller chunks and tackle each in turn. You may also apply other great problem solving nuggets.
• Stay motivated: Big and important tasks often require hard work and dedication. Often it’s not a sprint but more of a marathon. Keep yourself motivated with appropriate rewards at key milestones and work within the 10R Success framework.
• Do it now: Don’t let the Broken Windows Theory eventuate. Take on problems early and often, before they get too big and too hard to overcome.

I believe there is a threshold associated with Procrastination. This action/inaction boundary is determined by both Pain and Payoff. These simple tips are all designed to either reduce the Pain associated with a given task or increase the Payoff.

Good luck in your fight against Procrastination!

Six months or so ago, my life turned a corner. Here I was thinking I’m a busy person, but with the birth of my baby daughter, life is suddenly a whole different ball game.

Not only am I completely time starved, I find it is also difficult to plan around the unpredictable behaviour of a baby – when she screams you just have to drop everything instantly!

This begs the question – How can we cope with a demanding life?

Here’s my list of 15 tips.

1. Reflect on what’s important

I find we are taking on more than our parents ever did. We’re just having busier lives. In today’s world, between working, socialising, exercising and parenting, where’s the time for relaxation? For many of us, I suspect we’ve operated in auto-pilot for so long, we don’t even know if what we’re doing is congruent to our values and goals in life. My advice is to take some time and reflect on what’s truly important in your life then structure your schedule accordingly so you can focus on the right things.

2. Be the master of your own destiny

This is your life. Remember, you can be happy if you choose to and our limitations are mostly self imposed. If there is an aspect of your life which you are unhappy with, then you owe it to yourself to change and make a difference. Unless there are external factors involved, your life won’t get significantly better unless you do something about it. Take charge and be the master of your own destiny. Too stressful at work? Take on less responsibility. Delegate some tasks. Quit. Anything – just take action.

3. Simplify where possible

Human needs are fundamentally basic. From a physical perspective, all we need is food, clothing and shelter. Our emotional needs are more complex, but as long as we’re happy, everything else is just bonus. Take a moment to look at your life, what you have and what you do. You might find that maybe there are aspects to your life and routine which add to your stress but aren’t really essential to your well being. Eliminate these where possible.

4. Learn to cope with stress

Sometimes, things can’t be further simplified. Instead of making our lives less stressful, we can improve our stress coping abilities. Some people read a novel or practice yoga, whilst others spend hours at the golf course or take time out to go on holidays and recharge. Whatever suits your fancy, but do spend the time to de-stress. It is not healthy to operate constantly under high levels of stress.

5. Talk to yourself

Talking to yourself is a powerful tool everyone should have in their personal development arsenal. I find it is useful for so many things and in all sorts of situations. When I’m faced with a stressful situation, talking to myself gets me calm so I can focus on the task at hand. When I’m unsure of what to do, I reflect on what it is I’m trying to accomplish and walk myself through the steps to get things done. When I’m distracted, talking to myself allows me to regain focus and apply the Diminishing Distractions technique. What you do and how you react, is determined by what you say to yourself. So make a habit to say the right things, to help ensure the right results.

6. Talk to others

When life feels too demanding and stressful, find someone you can confide in. Talk about your fears and problems. Don’t keep things bottled up inside. It’s easier to let steam out a little at a time than to wait until the pressure is so strong that you explode! Remember, you don’t have to live life alone. Talk to others – family or friends – and get their emotional support. Not only can they be a good sounding board, but you might find they can offer solutions to your troubles which you haven’t thought of before.

7. Leave work at work

Many people I know don’t stop working when work stops. They take work home or work overtime and get home late. I find one of the most useful tools one can have to cope with a demanding lifestyle is having boundaries. Leave work at work. Make sure the planning provides sufficient time to get things done without breaking your back. It’s ok once in awhile to bring work home, but don’t do it consistently. Learn to draw boundaries and allocate suitable time boxes to spend on things. This applies to everything and not just work.

8. Remove the clutter

I happen to like working with a clean desk and spacious surroundings. I feel less cramped and my brain has room for creative freedom. Not everyone works the same way of course. I have friends whose desks are literally filled with so much paper, you can’t even see the colour of the wood underneath. However, if you have an overly demanding lifestyle, try to remove the clutter. Make sure things are filed in the appropriate places, so that when you’re working on one thing you only have the material related to what you’re working on within arm’s reach. Everything else is a distraction and shouldn’t be easily accessible until you’re ready to work on them. If you work in a chaotic environment, you’re going to live a chaotic life. So clean things up. Get organised.

9. Write things down

If you’re a follower of David Allen’s Getting Things Done methodology, you’d know the importance of writing things down. He believes that if you have too many things in your head, you’d inevitable forget something and they don’t get done. I echo the same sentiments with the addition that if you have too many things in your head, your stress levels tend to be higher. For example, imagine you’re at work and you’re trying not to forget to call the plumber to fix the leaks at home. Or when you’re at the park playing with your children and you’re thinking about the big meeting on Monday. Life feels a lot more complicated, doesn’t it? So, if you haven’t got a task list, start making one. Write things down and free your brain to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

10. Finish things off

Whether you’re a busy professional, a college student or stay at home parent, at any one time you probably juggle several things simultaneously. Whilst multi-tasking is a good skill to have, try not to handle too many things at the same time. Instead, make a point to finish things off. I find that whenever I have unfinished tasks, part of my brain is always working on them, even though it may only be at the sub-conscious level. You may not realise it, but these unfinished tasks contribute to your resting stress level. So try to get things done and closed off, instead of leaving them partially done and occupying precious brain cycles.

11. Learn to say ‘No’

If you find yourself being overwhelmed with the pressures of your current commitments, learn to say ‘No’ to new commitments. Saying ‘No’ isn’t an admission of weakness or reflection on your ability to cope with the pressures of life. It just means, that for now, you don’t have sufficient bandwidth to take on new things. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s better to give your existing commitments the time they deserve and do a proper job rather than take on too much and do things poorly.

12. Ask for help if you need it

The smartest thing you can do when you feel like you’re overwhelmed and can’t fulfill your commitments is to ask for help. Many people are afraid to ask for help. To them, asking for help is a sign of failure or inability to get things done. To me it is the complete opposite. Asking for help shows maturity and highlights a person’s desire to do a good job. I’d rather work with someone who knows when to ask for help, than someone who works crazily, to the detriment of the project and their health.

13. Accept that life is a series of ups and downs

I don’t know what the proper name for it is, but there are people who observe their health on a daily basis. Every time something unusual happens, they think it’s a terminal medical condition! Similarly, I find there are people who take life just a bit too seriously and are adversely affected emotionally whenever something bad happens. My advice is to take life a little less seriously. There will always be ups and downs. Don’t get too stressed out. This is just life.

14. Adopt a positive outlook and approach to life

It won’t change the reality of your present situation, but it will change your perception of it. You can choose to either look at the obstacles life presents as problems or you can look at them as opportunities. Though it won’t relieve you from your daily pressures, adopting a positive outlook will affect how you approach life’s challenges for positive gain. Remember that life is a journey to be enjoyed. Start now and change the way you look at life.

15. Have faith in yourself

The last tip I have to help with coping with a demanding life is to have faith in yourself. I’ve always believed that the human spirit is our greatest strength. Only when faced with the most difficult situations, challenges and danger do we learn and grow. Believe in yourself! Persevere. If life is tough, then be tougher. You’d be surprised by how amazing you can be if you give yourself a chance.

In general, I find people tend to welcome the new year with new year’s resolutions. Be a better person. Lose 20kgs. Live a healthier lifestyle. Stop smoking.

Does this sound like you?

Firstly, I think it’s strange that people make resolutions only around the start of the new year. Let’s stop and think about this for a second. If you’re really serious about improving your present condition, why wait for an arbitrary time to do so? Why not start now? Yes, I applaud your intentions. But make a difference now. You have to seriously ask yourself if you’re committed to your desires, if you have to wait (procrastinate) before actually taking action, and sacrificing time and energy towards your goals.

You know it’s true don’t you? To be honest, I’m guilty of that myself. I’ve set myself lofty goals this year including kick starting my new GTD internet venture, writing more frequently on this blog as well as being a good husband and dad. Conveniently, I’ve set these goals as new year’s resolutions. However, they didn’t have to be. I could have started last year, when I formulated these goals and made the “commitment”.

Secondly, it is really important to be realistic when making new year’s resolutions and goal setting in general. Being Realistic is the umbrella element in the 10 R’s to Success as I’ve previously written about.

Let’s explore why that is.

I think it’s a good thing to have intentions to improve one’s life, but be careful not to set yourself unrealistic goals that can lead to failure and disappointment. Let’s quit smoking. Let’s lose 20kgs. These aren’t easy! Losing this much weight in a healthy manner takes lots of hard work, exercise and eating well. While not a smoker myself, I know people who are and am familiar with their struggle to quit.

It’s just not that easy!

New year’s resolutions are notorious for being unrealistic. A new year always come with an expectation that things will get better. Somehow, the slate feels clean each new year and we expect ourselves to become almost superhuman. All our obstacles will crumble before us. All our desires will be fulfilled. I’ve been an advocate of positive thinking before, but let’s be realistic. Unless you elevate your game to the next level, things won’t change significantly.

Ok, you might reduce your daily cigarette intake. Or, you might actually make it to the gym for a couple of weeks. However, let’s face it. It is unlikely you’ll lose 20kgs or stop smoking entirely. That is, unless you elevated your game and truly committed yourself.

Which brings me to my point. Set goals which are realistic. Our ego and psyche are fragile enough. They don’t need to take additional beating by setting ourselves goals which ultimately fail and lead to disappointment. Instead of saying, I’ll lose 20kgs or quit smoking, just start small and go from there. How about, going to the gym twice a week for 2 hour sessions. Or, reduce my daily cigarette intake to 3 a day. Once you achieve these smaller goals and do so on a consistent basis, then press on the pedal. Exercise three times a week. Reduce daily cigarette intake to 2 a day.

Don’t set yourself goals which are unattainable. Build upon each success. Start small and use each little win to boost your confidence and allow you to reach bigger and more ambitious goals. You do know about good goal setting don’t you?

A friend once told me the best time to join a gym is in February. It’s when the punters from new year’s resolutions all drop off. So, perhaps now is a good time to assess the goals you made earlier in the year. Are they achievable? If not, can you set yourself smaller milestones and aim for these first?

As always, I wish you all the best. I too am breaking my goals down into sub-goals and facing each one at a time. Good luck!

In the months since writing that article, I have expanded on the 5 steps and have come up with a useful framework to apply to personal growth and development in general. Though it is slightly more ambitious in what it aims to cover, it is still easy to understand and follow. Note, the intent is to communicate a high-level framework — one that guides our thinking and actions. It won’t get you from zero to hero on its own, but if you follow it’s principles and philosophy, it may just guide you when you need it the most.

To help you remember it, the framework is simply called 10 R’s to Success.

There are essentially 10 elements to the framework. In the description to follow, I’ll use the word “problem” but you may substitute it with “goal”, “challenge” or “objective” . These are all interchangeable and equally applicable in this context.

Here is how it works:

1. Realistic

If you’re anything like me and have read self-help books before, you’d find that sometimes when you finish one of these books, you’d feel like you can walk through fire and conquer the world. Whilst that’s not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it can be a little dangerous. Unrealistic goals and expectations can lead to failure and disappointment.

This is why I’ve set being Realistic the most important element of the framework. It wraps the other elements and serves as a reminder that throughout the process, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves about what we are trying to do, whether it is attainable or not and what’s really involved.

2. Realise

The precursor to any change is Realising a change is required. For me, this is typically personified by the “Ah ha” moment. That is, the moment when something inside just clicks by magic and I realise there’s a problem and something needs to be done.

Based on my experience, this is really the first step in the whole process. If we don’t know whether a change is required or not, either nothing would change or something would change but not by choice or conscious effort. The net result of this is we’re left letting the Universe dictate our happiness.

3. Recognise

The Recognise step comes immediately after Realise. It is about identifying what the problem is truly about and whether there are any parallels we can draw from based on our past experiences and circumstances. I find problems are seldom completely unique. If I were to break a problem down, there are always similarities with other things I’ve done before. Recognise is the step in which we try to figure out what the problem is about and whether we’ve solved similar things before.

4. Reframe

Sometimes, our initial assessment of a problem can be incorrect. Often, I find this is because the problem is poorly defined. Reframing is the feedback step which allows us to restate the problem in a different way and in doing so perhaps Realise and Recognise the problem as something else entirely. This can sometimes cast a problem in a different light and present a solution which may otherwise not be obvious.

5. Respond

Although Respond is depicted as the next step which comes after Recognise, it doesn’t really occur until the problem is fully Realised, Recognised and Reframed (if necessary).

Respond is an action step. It is about taking the problem we have identified and working at the action items until the problem is resolved. I find using solutions I have applied to similar issues, keeping things positive and other great problem solving nuggets to be useful here.

6. Review

Have we actually resolved the issue? That’s a question we should always ask, even though it may seem obvious for simple problems. Review is the time we do this and it’s important because without it, we may never learn from our mistakes or know if our solution has done the job or not. If we aren’t satisfied for whatever reason, we will need to Repeat a few things.

7. Repeat

Repeat is the step which we follow if for whatever reason the solutions we have put in place does not meet all the requirements we have identified.

I find as I work on a problem, my initial assumptions can be incorrect. For these cases, I repeat the Recognise step to redefine and potentially reframe the problem. Sometimes also, I may need to re-execute and re-implement for no other reason than me making mistakes the first time through. For these cases, I simple Respond again.

8. Reflect

Reflection is similar to Review in the sense that we are comparing what we’ve done against what we have set out to do. Whilst Review is focused mainly on the problem itself, Reflect is about matching what we’ve done against our overall mission statement and goals in life.

I’ve always believed that life is too short to be doing things that are not congruent to our life’s goals. Reflection is the step in which we pause for a second to ask if we’re doing the right thing. If we aren’t perhaps we need to reassess our position and change.

While this isn’t a step we need to do all the time, I find it pays to do it occasionally simply because sometimes we can work in auto-pilot, get bogged down with the realities of life and forget what’s really important to us.

9. Reward

I described this step in the original post about the 5 steps to accomplishing your goals and I’ll briefly reiterate it here. If you have met all the requirements of the problem and are measuring well against your overall goals, then reward yourself. This is an important step because it helps to keep us motivated. As with the other steps, ensure your Rewards are Realistic!

10. Renew

The final element in the framework is Renew. Renew is essentially using the results of the work you have just done and the things you have just achieved as a motivator for new and more ambitious goals. Use it as a launching platform to set your sights to new things which may not have seem possible or Realistic before.

In conclusion

Life is a continuous process of discovery and learning. We only stop doing either of these when we die. At this very moment, you are discovering new things, experiencing interesting events, learning and growing constantly. For any given problem, challenge or goal, pause for a moment and identify which step you’re at. The great thing is you don’t have to start at the beginning of the flow. Just start applying the 10 R’s to Success based on where you’re at right now, irrespective of the problem.

I hope what I’ve written makes sense. I don’t think I’ve fleshed it out as well as I could have in this article. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you can, please provide me with some input on what works and what doesn’t based on your own experiences, so I can incorporate your suggestions and improve the overall effectiveness of the framework for one and all.

Hi Dave,

I’m an artist. I also have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). To that end I have a very difficult time staying on task with things and making things happen. I’ve been searching for ways to organize myself in an effort to not procrastinate, break down tasks etc. My question may be elementary and silly but what does a time box look like? I mean, is it a flow chart? Is it open to interpretation, just a title, and a list of things to do to make the task complete?

Thanks for your time and I like your site.

John

Hi John,

Thank you for your email. Let me see if I can tailor a response to your needs.

As an artist, I imagine you work on things which by nature are open ended. For these types of tasks, it is difficult to identify when something is complete. I used to sketch a lot in the past and although I didn’t do it at a professional level, I know what it feels like when a piece of artwork is in progress and never quite complete. In many ways, the 80/20 rule applies, where the remaining 20% takes up 80% of the time!

I can’t say I know what it feels like to have OCD. If I did have it, I imagine it would affect how much attention I pay to detail and how I approach work and life in general. Even the simplest and most mundane thing could be time consuming.

This is where I think Time boxing could really help. Time boxing is essentially fixing the amount of time you have available to work on things. When the time is up, you make a conscious decision at that point whether it is done or not. When working on a sketch, one can decide after 30 mins if the sketch is “good enough” and can be considered complete or not. If not, you allocate another time slot to continue working on it. This time slot can be the next thing you do, or it could be later in the week. It doesn’t matter which really. The most important thing about Time boxing is being aware of the passing of time.

It is pretty much open to intepretation. What I suggest for you is this:

1. Plan your day out

Start each day by deciding how many Time boxes you need and what you hope to achieve in these Time boxes. For you, I suggest being explicit about what is going to be done in a certain Time box. As with all goals, make sure they are well-defined and includes the 6 elements of a good goal. The other benefit of doing this at the start of each day is you have a holistic view of the day. I mean, by the end of each Time box, it is easier to make a call on whether a given task is complete or not simply because you have a holistic view of the day and can judge how much work is outstanding.

2. Try not to overrun

Make this a goal and record everything. What I mean is for you to make it a goal for each day to stick to your Time boxes. In the beginning you might get it wrong and be overly optimistic about how much you can accomplish in a given day. However, over time, your estimates will become better as you become more conscious of time and how long it takes to do things. Try and record everything, even things which are mundane. For OCD, I imagine you would find yourself constantly doing things again and again, just because you can’t help yourself. If you record how much time you spend on a given task, if you find yourself spending more time than usual on it, then use the recorded times to convince yourself to stop and move on! Also, in doing so, you focus on the outcomes and results and less so on the activity part of the work.

3. Buy a stop clock

I have recently decided to get a stop clock which sits on my table, going “ding” every 30 mins. I’ve only been trying this recently, but it makes me aware of time. Sometimes when I’m working, I lose track of time and could overrun on a Time box without realising it. However, with this simple yet practical change, the clock reminds me every time 30 mins elapses. It might be a good way to interrupt your thinking/working and remind you to focus on results and getting things done.

Format of a Time box

As for your question about what a Time box really looks like – simply it is free form. It can be whatever you want it to look like. However, the following elements must be present in a Time box:

• Time – how long it is. Note, you don’t need to have the same time duration for all your time boxes. Some Time boxes can be shorter than others depending on the actual time of day and the work to be done. For example a Time box for me in the morning before work is 1 hour (because that’s how much free time I have before I have to get ready) but a Time box during a working day is only 30 mins (I plan my work around short time slots so I can better report on progress).
• Task title – the work to be done. This statement describes succinctly what you aim to do in the Time box. For you, that could be working on a sketch. For me, that could be spending time on writing an article or responding to emails. In your case, I suggest being explicit and spell things out fully.
• Outcome – when it is considered complete. For a given task, identify when the task is complete. To do so, write down the outcome of the task. Use this at the end of every Time box to decide if what you aim to do has been accomplished or not.

Does this help? I hope it does and wish you all the best. It would be great to hear what you come up with and what works and doesn’t. If you haven’t read my article on how to stay focused, please take a look. In it, you may find a nugget which you can incorporate into your daily habits and patterns.

If there is anyone out there who has experience helping people with OCD or time management in general, feel free to leave a comment.

John, good luck to you!